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dear friendster,

I feel bad about how much I’ve been ignoring you lately. I like your
brother, Facebook, better and I love post entries in my website and my friends out there are just cooler (they drop comments).
Sorry, I hope you don’t have psychological problems later in life
because you’re not getting enough attention from your mum (that’s me).

Good bye blog

Lembang, 23 Januari 2008.

i did a text messaging fool & and no one really writes me back. i should be sleeping with Kevin. i could sleep forever. and i probably wouldn’t mind.

just kidding

 

postingan pertamaku di tahun 2008

negatif.

hari ini tanggal 22/1 adiku yg no.3 (namanya feri, orang rumah manggilnya aa) umurnya bertambah, genap jadi 12tahun. hubungan kami buruk sekali: he hates me, he never listens to me. dia sekarang sakit batuk+pilek krn kebanyakan main panas-panasan tuh, dan sok tau malah minum obat warung (tuh bocah alergi obat warung, harus obat resep dokter),and that what makes me pretty mad. kemarin malem ummu -?- (lupa namanya) nengokin ke rumah. kebetulan selain sakit, dia sejak hari pertama sekolah kga pernah masuk. ayahku belum anggap serius sampe akhirnya si aa teh menolak cabut ke sekolah walopun temen2nya pada nyamperin. mudah2an ada hasilnya bu guru itu sudimampir kerumah ngebujukin dia sekolah lagi. tinggal 5/6 bulan lagi kenaikan kelulusan SD IT Al-Amanah..mau jadi apa anak itu kalo SD aja gak lulus, coba? he can not do this to us (his family). but i know im not better than him. gue yg udah lulus s1 aja sampe skrg ga pernah ngerasa manfaatnya belajar bhs.prancis. i hate it…1000x

menyedihkan.

aku inget beberapa tahun yg lalu m’arfin cerita tentang hal2 yg ada hubungannya dengan we are nothing thing : seperti buih di laut biru, seperti debu dipadang pasir gitu. just nothing.. oh how relevant it is with my life right now. hidup segan mati tak mau, aku ngga bahagia.kadang-kadang aku ingin mati aja,(tapi tentu saja hal itu ngga akan aku lakukkan). my cowardice is more powerful than me..i am just not satisfied with life. i hate that.

end of the post

30 desember 2007,

Mmmm…ada banyak hal didunia ini yg aku ga ngerti. dunia ini sangatlah komplex dan rumit banged. aturannya ada banyak, yg langgar juga banyak. emang sih dulu aku cuek dan angin-anginan, hal2 yg wkt dulu kupikir salah, ternyata betul, begitu juga sebaliknya.. Bukan cuma pd hal2 yg serius aja, tapi pada hal2 yg sederhana. I never give a damn. at all. Misalnya :
1. Lihyah.
Ada yg bilang bhw memanjangkannya adalah kewajiban. AAHHH BOHOOONG LOO!! E ternyata aku salah. Huehehehe. Inget aja dulu aku di profile FS (Who I want to meet) tulisnya: Anyone, as long as you dont have beard. heuhehehhe. Mari kita skrng bersama-sama membayangkan khayalanku ttg antrian di ATM yg co-semua dan berjenggot semua.

2. Isbal (utk laki-laki).
Wkt solat dirumah GT aku lihat sarungnya dipake terlalu pendek. Aku trus tanya "kamu kenapa sarungnya dipakenya tinggi begitu? itu betisnya.." heuheuhe.. lalu dijelaskan ama bapak itu bhw semakin pendek itu sbnernya semakin bagus. aku cuma diam tapi dlm hati membantah bilang "yakin lo? ya terserah". Dengan ini saya menyatakan ya GT kamu betul! huehehe maaf ya. Aku aja baru tau istilah Lihyah=jenggot dan Isbal aja barusan. Absurd, kok baru taunya sekarang? Malahan kayanya semua orang pada ngga tau ttg lihyah dan jenggot kecuali aku dan gt dan org2 yg dimarginalkan selama ini. haLah marginal…huhuhuehuehe

3. Larangan berjabat tangan dg lawan jenis.
Pas salaman sama orang-orang dulu masih suka ngga jelas gtu, ngga peduli itu ce atau co. Kecupi kecupiki dg lawan jenis juga jadi budaya ya sekarang..menyedihkan. Tapi kalo pengganti salaman apa dong? Tidak ada.

Huehehe..senyuman sok imut, stupid smile. Wkt kemarin ke kampus temenin t’Awie yg lg liburan di Bdg, kami ke GBU (nama Galeri) jurusan Seni Rupa, trus ketemu Entri yg sedang menyelesaikan lukisan untuk tugas TA. Ngomong2 aku baruuu aja pulang dari Dauroh (yg jarang aku lakukan). Judulnya "Etika dan Adab Pergaulan Wanita". Aneh sekali..di blox malah nulis tentang jenggot laki-laki. Absurd.

Selamat Tahun Baru ya teman-teman (mungkin ada yg baca).

Byeeeeeeee

Bandung,
15 desember 2007

One of those days again….

oh
my blog God..sebenernya aku paling males mengeluh dan nulis di sini yg isinya
serignya tentang keluhan2 pointless, yg ga ada ujungnya. sumpah deh.

end of the post.

 

Lembang, 5 desember 2007.

barusan gw ganti layout. sangat membosankan.
hari ini nulis apa yah…? 

20 things you may not know about me :

(ide diambil dari buletin board)

everyone always says that it’s important to see someone at their worst
before you marry them..to see what you’re getting in to. hahaha..tapi yg
skrg ini gue tulis bukan untuk itu yah, okey? ini aku cuma ingin update blox aja.

1. kadang aku ngga bisa berbicara dengan jelas. bla bla bla bla
bla blah, gue akan ngomong dulu panjang-panjang seperti sedang memaparkan lukisan elaborasi,
padahal intinya cuma ingin ngomong ay lap yu doang huehehehe

2. i dont wear make-up. at all. tapi gue suka kalo tmn2 gw pd pake make up. adik
gue juga ternyata pake ya, trus Dina juga wkt terakhir ketemuan, dia
kayanya pake pmerah pipi hehehe. you go girl!

3. aku ngga peduli kalo ada orang yg meremehkan (BOHONG BESARR) But honestly, for some peoples, I just don’t give too much time or heart. Dont care. Aku juga ga ingin ikut campur urusan mereka.

4. A better name for me would be: iyang. it sounds good, temen gue yg
ekspatriat (a.k.a bule) yg bilang kalo nama iin itu kan dibacanya jadi
i-yang (Or iyong?). Telat! ternyata ada temen sekelas gue namanya Septi dan semua anak panggil
dia Iyang, so let us forget the idea. Hahaha

5. I trust the internet. I’ll tell strangers pretty much everything. But I don’t offer anything.

6. I secretly like…Dewi-dewi. Tapi cuma 1 lagu aja, Begitu salah
begitu benar, begitu Ossom kan selera musik gue? Jawabannya adalah iya ossom, huehehehe!D Ahmad
Dhani Prasetyo memang hebad. (Ossom itu maxudnya awesome).

7. i’ve come to a conclusion that its always better to hang out with
the guyfriends than wit the girls. Mereka akan selalu melindungi,
menjaga dan memenuhi semua keinginan kita <— Right! Mereka memang berbahaya bisa tiba-tiba iseng
nyolok mataku yg indah ini sampe gue nangis or mereka  akan menyembunyikan barang2
ampe qta bingung (sendal gue dilempar ke atas genteng ya!!) or mereka maxa spy gue sudi cuci piring  tapi akyu bisa balas nyiram
kepalanya pake aqua sampe sakit besoknya or nendang pantatnya
kuat-kuat sampe ybs minta ampun.<— oh tiba-tiba gue merasa hal ini sangatlah tidak bijaksana di post di blox. i met my
guyfriends everyday.<— right!

8. Gue punya bekas luka di jidat, ng..kayanya ini sih kelihatan ya, so u can see it clearly. right there in my precious face. banyak yg tanya itu kenapa & ada juga yg ingin pegang (haLah!) Mereka juga tanya apakah sakit (engga sakit tuh..). Si bokap sangat menyayangkan kenapa hal tsb bisa terjadi. ngga tau deh. Lupa. So begini ceritanya..waktu masih kecil aku jatuh dari ketinggian dan terluka berdarah tepat dijidat. Tapi aku suka boong ke orang2 bhw ini adalah krn jd korban perampokan wkt sedang darmawisata ke Irak hehe. Whatta amazing storeyyyy.

9.short time memory lost. i forget peoples and things. Lupa. i dont care, im sorry, tapi sekarang aku ngga terlalu yakin lagi euy.

10. gue nulis apa lagi nih…? aku tambahkan lagi! (wrn ungu utk tulisan yg harini). tambahannya..aku kayanya pilih kasih sama adikku yg namanya Kevin.

11. sebisa mungkin, aku selalu ingin jadi orang yg baik. hehehe, dan berguna. i believe i never make any monumental mistakes in mylife, so i deserve good things or good life. gituloh.

12. sesuatu yg intim menurut gue adalah ketika seseorang menangis dihadapan orang lain/temennya. emosi banged kayanya kalo org lagi nangis teh hehehe. tapi gue sama sekali ngga tertarik tuh ama seleb/artis yg nangis2 sesegukan dpn kamera/publik. idihhh…paan?!

13. di facebook, karakter Lady Kick Boxer gue yg gabung di Fight Club namanya HangThatMan dia keren (bentuknya seh orang Korea) & selalu  menang. tapi kadang2 kalah juga seh. Setiap online selalu gue training dwong. Udah level 4 (ga penting….)

14. Next! (07/12) Aku kayanya suka mengetes ketahanan/kekuatan diri gue sendiri. Ngerti gak maxudnya? kan gini, misalnya si gue sukaaaaa banged buah mangga n di kulkas kebetulan ada buah itu, tros gue punya tekad ngga akan makan mangga tsb kalo orang rumah sedang suka juga dg buah itu. Dan kalo misalnya udah bbrp hari gada yg sudi makan (ditargetkan gue rencana akan makan sblm buah itu busuk)so at the end of the day gue akan puas2in makan buah itu dg penuh kenikmatan hahaha. jadi artinya gue menang, itu namanya self control. ;D Gue selalu menang artinya gue kuat & memang hebatz.

15. Hari ini (12/12) up-date lageeee!!! pake ijooo hohohoho. Hmm..i like my teeth. Gigi gue bagus and rata and Dokter gigi juga memuji kerapian gigi gue lho and im so extremely proud about it. Aku ga punya gigi bolong or sakit gigi? ngga pernah tuh mas.. :D Bangga? Emang bikin bangga!! aku juga ga ingin tuh kalo ada bad breath problem. Doh! Itu sangat mengerikan kalo terjadi padaku. Kadang2 kalo belanja di swalayan gue sengaja beli produk2 utk kesehatan gigi & mulut or sikat gigi, produk odol, obat kumur yg terbaru. Tapi sayangnya warnanya ini ngga pernah jadi seputih yg gue inginkan. Kenapa ya? Kadang2 gue jd sangat sedih jadinya (hALah!). Perawatannya selama ini yah..cuma dibersihin aja. Tapi kalo ada duit lebih (or baca: banyak) gue ingin ini gigi di bleach ampe jadi putiiihhhhhhh. I’d do anything.

16. When I ask apologize, i mean it. Gue bersungguh-sungguh banget pisan dan itu aseli dari dalam hati. Semua orang ngga kayak gini, soalnya gue kayanya lebih tulus. and this is my statement. okey?! jadi dari pada menderita lebih lama, maafin aja si iin yah, thanks (13/12).

17. aku suka baca / nulis puisi. Aku juga suka gambar dan foto2, haizzz.. 

18. i hate depend on peoples, i really really really do.

19. selarut apapun aku tidur, aku bisa bangun jam seberapa saja aku mau. tanpa weker gue bisa dwong! Oh yes..try me! Pernah denger ttg jam biologis tidur-bangun?  (aktivitas tidur, makan, beol, pipis pd wkt2 tertentu setiap hari). Oooooo…gue punya dong jam biologis bangun! Cuma siklus Mens aja yg kadang ngawur hahaha, but its not my fault.

20.

eh…emangnya gue akan ngasi tau semuanya disini? hehehe..tapi
melihat nomer 5, gue kasitau lain kali deh. jadi ini postingan
bersambung. disambung lagi besok kali ya.

Okey, so maybe you knew a few of those things. 

bye

P.S.tanggal frenster salah! harini tanggal 5 khan? ini gue anaknya yg selalu dis-orientasi waktu or frensternya yg ngaco? yang kedua.

Bandung, 30 november 2007.

Hey, im online again.

it’s been a month and a week since i graduated (23 october’07) from my university and almost a month and a half im looking for a job. that’s ridiculous. i mean, i
don’t really count stand-by in bL every Friday for Simbah is a job. Browsing everything is always a good time (facebook-ing and got 18 friends there, most of them are from Kronologger) and most of that time i was always away from my house and without any result or any income hahaha. why would i choose to do that? I dont know. maybe i’am lazy. i don’t
even think that it’s about being lazy, it’s worse than that..it’s like i just
dont care about anything at all (and its true!). i don’t care about paying or buying things with my money and i don’t
care about accomplishing something for myself (since my graduation).. well, i do feel bad every night when i lay
in bed and am forced to think about the day or if its GT asked me what did i do that day.
and the fact that i spend most days doing nothing, i don’t really contribute to
my family and i don’t really do anything around the house and it’s really weird to be that apathetic and careless when you’re young. Right?
I dont know. i really hate the thought of that. my feelings for those jobs i applied are very bipolar.

I like that word, bipolar, its a bit more classy hehehe.

Bipolar means i dont care about work or money but now i need them but i never spending money for some of my hobbies or a gadget or clothes and books or shoes or  whatever cos im living with my parents who supply everything i want and knowing me, im not a girl who do shop all the time. Hahaha..so i really need hobbies. if you know what i mean.

and seriousely everyone’s solution is getting a job.. yes but, there are more pressing matters at hand. i need to get whatever’s wrong with my brain before i can function in society like a regular human being who is working. i know i can make it happen someday. and some things will take me longer to accomplish but
it’s not a race.. i can take as long as i need. and i don’t care if no one else believes
that. i know have to get a job soon and
i’m feeling a little tired with all of it. so, i’m ignoring it like usual.
hahaha.

Just kidding.

Alright anyway, just last night, i’ve been thinking about my college years and myfriends
too. i’m just a little disappointed in some of my friends right now.
they aren’t really acting like friends. yesterday when i woke up, i felt like i was going to campus and went to a library and met Wilma there. Aaaand she called me! and I met her there, in a library! i’ll actually be there for her. I don’t know anyone in campus because it’s been like forever i saw those buildings and the kids that are seniors this year, were freshman when i graduated and i didn’t really know any students of 2006, 2005, or 2004. but, it’s not so much about knowing people as it is the feeling of being there. I live in the past. it’s a problem.

Btw, there’s nothing on TV that i want to watch last night. but Prison Break is tonight and im so excited about Michael Schofield. and anyway Gt seems like he’s always tired for some reason. i think he just
can’t get enough sleep everynight. Thats probably not a good thing.

I got to go home now, bye.

P.S. i need
to save up money (i have no savings. at all).

Bandung, 19 november 2007

eh im closing my eyes : Judul yg aneeehh..

hari ini Bandung cuacanya bagus tapi kmrn gue sangat BT sekali pisan. Stressss sampe  terlintas utk kpengen mati aja hiks-hiks.. tapi sedihnya sebentar hahaha coz i  realize that I haven’t made any monumental mistakes in mylife hahaha haha.

Today, lets write about something jumbled in my head in here (in here dibaca in hiya a la aksen London, mereka lucu ya nyebut richer jd kedengeran kaya –> richa hehehe). Itu lucu aja

Hari ini.. Kevin bersikap menyebalkan pas pagi-pagi ..ah iya! Mlm ini ada Prison Break jam9 di ANTV,  waaah..suka suka suka! eh trus pas barusan baca SMS Lala ngasitau kalo sepupu kami yg cowo akan nginep lg di rmh, gue BT lagi. Tuh anak suka menguasai TV di rumah. Padahal gue jarang2 nonton TV (bohong besaaaarrr) yg acaranya berkualitas. =D Hey, aku juga suka nonton silatlidah. Panelis favorit aku mungkin Ria Irawan ya, soalnya dia gila. Tapi kayanya acara itu juga tidak berkualitas haha. Vice versa, guilty pleasure gue euy hahaha.  Aku juga lihat sinetron India, Kkavyanjali dan Kayamath. Pas ngoper channel cari berita, eh di Paris msh ada berita ttg langkah politiknya Nicolas Sarkozy. Yg kayanya selalu aja salah dimata rakyatnya. Presiden yg malang.

Gue barusan browsing di situs2 yg dulu sering di akses buat bahan kuliah Etude de texte hahaha, eeeh juga nemu berita jelek ttg anti-Sarkozy gtu. eh gue ngga gtu faham ya situasi politik di Prancis skrng, sudah lama tidak up-date.

I had something else that i was going to write about but i’m distracted by all of that. Je veux ecrire les choses ici en Francaise (pas en Anglais) mais c’est dificile a taper les accents ici. Ugh. Rasanya hidup gue absurd ya sekarang.. Aku benci hidupku. Aku juga benci TV.

Eh?

 

Sudahlah.

halo,

im always changing and rearranging about something.

But i haven’t stopped thinking about those words in relation to marriage since this friend-o-mine (inisialnya WY, hehehe) told me that she’s getting married someday in the near future "jeng-jeng, im getting married" she said, huahaahahaha! and Im happy for her. and i know that her husband-to-be is someone she will share life with. all the rest of her life . he will gain her perspective and she will gain his. she will eventually hopefully decide to come together with this man to create another person to bring into this world(aaamiiiin). And she want so much for that little person (same wit meee). and she’s 24 and just ready. eh and im 23. i’m excited about the idea. my thoughts on marriage have changed in the past months a whole lot. 

choose wisely who you will reproduce with..katanya. huahahaha Obviously yes, choose wisely my friends. Okey now im done talking about marriage because thats at least a year down the road from me.

Mmmmmmaybe, insya Allah. okey. bye.

halo apa kabar?

Hari minggu kemarin saya piknik lho, bukan ke Pelabuhan Ratu tapi mendadak ganti tujuan jadi ke Pangandaran. Tetep pantai tujuannya mah..Eh, gue jadi inget film Dono Kasino Indro, "Kita ke pantai yuk, Don!" huehehehe. Kami pergi ke pantai rame-rame 8 orang: Adit, mEga, Sonny, Abeng, Lia, Day, dan Asep (eh, saya ngga kenal Asep). Arfin ngga ikut krn dia mendadak sakit, tapi gue bawa oleh-oleh buat bapak itu.

Random Things:

• HP-ku (yg GSM) kecemplung air laut, jadi mati deh.
• Bisa di hubungi pakai no CDMA (Esia)
• Nginep di kost-nya Mega dan ngobrol sampai..entah jam berapa.

eh, Mega is hillarious kind-o-girl. When we chatt that night..its about something I hate about life or whatsoever (complaining to her, in a very rude way to be exactly) ..she’s cool about it and that is the way it should be.  I sometimes cant be that cool. Hmm..fyi: she’s younger than me, and loves this boy whose just turn 19. Remains me that i’m not a teenager anymore. cheers to that.

take nothing but pictures
kill nothing but time
leave nothing but footprint